I like going out. If I could go out everyday with family and friends, I would. But as I grew up, I realized that hanging out with friends is not always healthy. I became too pushy that I forgot that I wasn’t in college anymore and that spending time with your peers isn’t mandatory anymore.
I didn’t notice that people were becoming uncomfortable around me and that left me feeling all alone. It breaks my heart really. So, my husband occasionally prevents me from texting or calling them to give them their space.
Nowadays, I tell myself that I need to do something with my free time. It was sad at first, but then again, I never realized how much time I spent with other people instead of myself, with my family or my husband. I was surprisingly, happy, not to mention more productive (plus I was able to save money!)
I forgot the dreams and the goals that I had when I was young. I’ve forgotten that I had a ton of things I wanted to try and learn. So I took my old notebook and re-visited my past.
1.PERSONAL TIME WITH GOD
The never ending excuse, “I’m busy but I will make up for it,” but never will. I always thought that I was busy with work but I’m only busy because I want to be.
2. READ BOOKS
I’d forgotten how much I enjoyed reading books. I can now buy the books that I’ve been longing to read with the money I saved.
3. STUDY HOW THE STOCK MARKET WORKS
This was a long lost dream that I’ve forgotten since I didn’t have the capital to begin with. Although I initially thought I was too old to invest but well, it’s never too late to learn something new.
4. WRITE BLOGS
I’ve always loved to write. I was really surprised when I found my old blogs from 15 years ago and how cringey my posts were. My writing really sucks, but it was way worse before so I would say I am improving. But with my spare time at home, I now have the chance to improve.
5. LEARN NEW THINGS AND WATCH MY CENTURY YEAR OLD LIST OF MUST WATCH MOVIES
I will start trying new things now like learning the piano or ukulele or even try kickboxing. I’m learning how to bake currently and I had forgotten how satisfying it felt to learn and improve on a certain skill. More importantly, I’ve began watching some of the movies that me and my husband always wanted. I’ve always said no to him before because of how busy I was spending time with other people.
6. UNDERSTAND THAT MY HUSBAND IS MY NUMBER ONE PRIORITY AND WILL ALWAYS BE MY BESTFRIEND
I’m thankful that I have four sisters to annoy who never fail to make me feel loved. But with the adversities I face everyday, I’ve always felt alone for as long as I remember. Maybe that was the reason why I always needed company, people to talk to, spend time with, meet people, friends old and new and never realized how much I relied on them to fill that empty spot in my life. I got so used to it like an addiction, without even realizing I was going way too far.
My mindset was solely set on, “My family is my only priority in this world, I don’t need anyone else.” However, with the myriad of problems my family faces on a day to day basis, I have no one else to turn to but my friends. So, please give me a break for all the times I may have stepped on some boundaries. But now, I realized that my husband is now my number one priority, my best friend and is more than enough than all the friends I have. He’s my happy place and I thank Jesus Christ for giving me a chance to live this life walking side by side with this man who’s there for me 24/7, who doesn’t need permission to meet up and listen to my problems, who will tell me straight up what I need to know when I need to know and continue doing so until the end of days.
So now, I prefer to stay home, doing all the things I wanted to do, focus on my goals and learn new things everyday.
“If you’re in your comfort zone then you ‘re in the wrong place.” – Pao Siat.